No wonder marriage divorce rate is so high. So many have negative thoughts around it. Why does being married mean life is over? I have had coworkers make fun of me for eating healthy as “there is no need for that once you’re married”. I have had family members promise me I will be unhappy in my marriage. People tell me and my husband we are “stuck” together now. I know it’s all light-hearted fun, but all that friction starts a fire.
I once had a coworker come into the beak room while I was eating a salad go off about how I eat healthy all the time and should just eat some chocolate for once as I was “engaged anyway”. It was as though my healthy eating personally offended her. People look at me like I have two heads when I say I enjoy running and ask, “Why do you even exercise, you’re married now”. People tell me I no longer need to dress nice or wear makeup now that I’m married. It annoys me that everyone thinks I do this for a man. I do it for myself and my marriage. I want to be healthy and look good and I’m sure my husband wants the same for me (and I for him).
I use social media to express my gratitude for my husband. People seem surprised I actually like my husband. “You still think he’s great? Well I guess you have been married less than a year, just you wait.” Why would our marriage go downhill? I know it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, but your words of “encouragement” do not help.
“You don’t miss going out and having fun?” Going out and having fun are two different things. No, I don’t miss going out and meeting douche bags. Getting married sounds like leaving the party, but I left the party with the best guy. My husband and I are having fun in the sun on the boat while everyone else is nursing a hangover.
What if instead of making ball and chain references people made remarks of how we’re free to start an adventure together? Instead of scoffing at us still trying to be healthy and look good, people complimented and recognized our hard work.
Being married doesn’t mean you stop trying, it means you try every day.